It’s so hard to walk alone
But You ask me every time
As a stranger in the world
My steps are not in rhyme
My direction takes a different course
Often, all by myself
I live a life of solitude
Yet it is a life of wealth.
Of course, it’s hard to walk alone
But I go at my own pace
And I still enjoy the journey
And I still finish the race
The things of earth have no more ties
Nothing can keep me still
For I am walking towards a goal
Even if Alone is Your Will.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Alone
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:52 PM 2 comments
Help My Heart
When all around me crumbles
Help me know right from wrong
When temptation bids me stumble
Give me the courage to face my fears
To brave the winds and rise above
Grant to me the answers, Lord,
Refill me with Your Love.
Keep from me the things You know
Pull me away from You
Allow only those ones which serve
To draw me closer into
The light of Your illumined face,
The center of Your will,
Hold my heart in Your hands, dear Lord,
And I will love You still.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:52 PM 0 comments
Heartache
And you teach it to love
You teach me what I
Am capable of.
Then you break it and bruise it,
You cut it to pieces
This sadness I feel
Abandonment; love ceases.
I need my heart, dear God,
Does it have to break?
I need my Spirit, dear Lord,
Must it always ache?
Must I never find
A true love for real?
Must I always be alone?
Will these wounds never heal?
I wanted to love,
Tried to give it a chance
But I struggled on beat
Trying too hard to dance
Now, I spin alone
Out of sync, out of mind
Take my heart, dear God,
Don’t let me fall behind.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:50 PM 0 comments
Sometimes
Sometimes I miss the silence of my heart’s heart.
My spirit screams, it needs to be alone
Sometimes I have this feeling I was meant for no one else
Sometimes I feel I’ve walked too far from home.
Sometimes the burden of my soul is heavy
It longs to grow wings and take its flight
To return to where it first learned what love was
In order for rebirth, for hope, for light.
Sometimes the darkness is just too foreboding
I try to open my eyes but I can’t see
Lord, can You hear my spirit calling?
If so, please…
Come and carry me.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:49 PM 0 comments
While I Have This
While I have this chance to live
Let me live it.
While I have this gift of love,
Let me give it.
While I have this moment
Called my own life
Let me burn with passion
Let me live it right.
While I have this treasure
Called simply, time,
Let it not pass
Till tomorrow is mine
Let me wake each day
With a reason to breathe
Let me cherish each moment
And each footprint I leave
May it mark the way
For another soul
To journey on a path
That leads to a goal
And while I have this chance
To be part of the earth,
Help me, dear God,
Live for what Your Love is worth.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:48 PM 0 comments
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Letter to A Lover
My Love,
When at night, your body,
wrapped in mine
undulates,
I feel the waves in my heart
like an ocean,
tossed.
I feel the immense sea,
swallowing me up…
and I find myself
wanting
to drown in it
forever.
When, in the morning,
you kiss me
upon awaking,
and I realize
my bed is no longer the lonely place it used to be,
I am
aroused
by you, my Love.
In the future,
you will take me to romantic places—
Paris,
Venice,
Normandy…
but the most romantic moments I find with you
are when
I see nothing else around me
save your eyes,
those windows to your soul.
Your deep looking into my own
becomes a magnetic force,
drawing me
to you;
lifting my spirit up
out of myself,
and making me come
alive again.
Our love has been
uncomplicated,
and so many times
I have tried to make sense of that.
But you set me straight
with your simple words,
your handsome smile,
your touch,
and your spirit.
Your heart is open still,
I know…
our Creator has put within it
the love
that has kept my own heart
alive,
the love
that leaves me wanting
your love.
And wanting more…
and more…
and more…of you.
I love you.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 8:30 PM 2 comments
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Distance
My Love,
Do not hold it against me
When I tell you
I need my solitude
My Silence
My Self.
Do not call me selfish
For distancing myself from you.
I am not taking away my love.
But letting it expand
In my heart
In my self.
When I am alone in my silence,
My solitude,
I realize then
That I need you.
Yet when I am with you,
Sometimes, I don't see that.
How much I need you.
In those times,
I need to step away
Away from you
Away from the world
Away from everything.
So that I may return
A better lover
A better friend
A better me
And better for you.
So do not hold it against me
For staying in this quiet moment
This lonely place
For when I do,
I long to return
To you in full
And when I do,
You'll know my love.
You'll know,
My Love.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 12:28 AM 2 comments
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Drawn
I am drawn to the heat of Your Love
Like an artist draws his grand piece
I am drawn to the warmth of your light
Like the earth, when it draws on the seas.
I am drawn to the kiss of your lips
Like a moth is drawn to a flame
I am drawn to the heat of your passion
Like a warrior is drawn to the fray.
I am drawn to the needs of your ache
Like a mother is drawn to her young
I am drawn; am consumed by your beauty
Like the moon is ever drawn to the Sun.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:12 PM 0 comments
But You Do
You don’t have to love me, but You do
You don’t have to want me, yet You do.
You don’t have to make my life this
Work of art that it’s become, but You do.
…and I thank You.
Thank You for loving me, just the way I am
I’ve traveled far, yet always come back home
Because I can
Because You’ve given me this place inside your heart
With You, it’s been perfect from the start
…and I thank You.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:11 PM 1 comments
Silence Speaks
Silence speaks to me in something
Like a shattered drop of dew
Splashing wetness and revealing
That there is more to dream; to do
Silence speaks to me like thunder
Booming through its absent voice
Still for awhile; yet I can hear it
Asking me to make a choice.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:10 PM 1 comments
Moments
If I look back on the past, there is much hurt there
If I look toward the future; I am blind
And so, I live only in this moment
For it is here that I always find
He gives enough love for my quivering heart
He gives enough grace for my feeble knees
He knows all my weaknesses; better, my strengths
He knows all the moments I need.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:09 PM 0 comments
Small Petition
Lord, another day has risen
Let the sun climb high into the sky
Lord, another day has given
Reason to my life, to my heartcry.
Let me never wander from the light
Thrust me into where you’ll have me be
Another day for serving and for living
Another day for learning to love Thee.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:08 PM 0 comments
Alone...and Free!
When there is no one left to call,
The telephone, it hardly rings
The silence is unusual,
For I have seared attachment strings
I lie awake, in silence, thinking
Of what it’s like to be alone
Too many years, I have spent like this
In solitude, and far from home.
Direction comes from inner feelings
Of warmth that no human form can give
In the quietness, truth speaks softly
Of what it really means to live.
Independent—free, at last!
Free to be what I’m made for
Free to let go of my past
And free to love once more.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:07 PM 0 comments
Take Me Now
Take me now, as I am nothing
Lead me where You need me be
In humility, I kneel, surrendered
To Your highest Will for me.
Grant of me that I may offer
This gift to You; my last small tears
All I have left, I surrender
Life has stripped my finest years
And yet, this cup, not passed from me
I drink, refilled with Hope Divine
Surrender to You is true freedom
And all You have, You have made mine.
So take me now; this cup is empty
Take me, ever forward, still
This prayer is to be surrendered
Break me; make me what You will.
(8 Dec. 2007)
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:07 PM 0 comments
Lover's Whisper
From the silence of my breaking heart,
From pieces torn and scattered far,
I try to find some sense, some beauty
Inside, I wonder where You are.
If You were here, I’d not be broken
If You were here, I’d not be pained
If I could hear the words You’ve spoken,
Perhaps my heart would not be maimed.
And then, I feel Your arms around me
Before Your lips kiss my tear-stained cheek
“Your beauty comes from being broken,”
Are the strange words I hear You speak.
“Had you been whole, and not so shattered,
Had you been strong, and not like this,
Had you been steady, not so scattered,
You would not know my deepest kiss.”
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:06 PM 0 comments
My Happy Place
Night by night
Where shadows dim
Beneath the Light
Try to sink in,
You lead me where
The twilight ends
And a sunrise beams
When dawn descends.
My darkest hour
Never too bleak
It’s there I find
The Voice I seek
It’s where I know
You face to face
Where Night becomes
My Happy Place.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:04 PM 0 comments
For a Foolish Lover
Last night, I dreamed it was your face
Only, we were in another place
And in your hand, held warmly there
Was another’s grasp; another’s care.
You spoke to me; I looked at you
As usual, not knowing what to do
How did I meet you in my dreams
Only to find this bizarre scene?
You kissed her, then you walked away
There was nothing left to say
Your spirit spoke it loud and clear:
“Do not try to find me here.”
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:03 PM 0 comments
To My Greatest Love:
Even though I have been silent
These past few days,
Know that I have thought of us.
Know that I have thought of You
--Your truth,
Your Faithfulness,
Your deep care for me.
You never forget,
And that’s what I love so much about You.
You are perfect
And when I surrender to You,
Laying my heart at your feet,
I know
That that’s exactly where I always want to be.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 9:01 PM 0 comments
Life, With You
Life with You is:
Unpredictable, yet constant.
Where the excitement leads, I never really know.
Life with you is:
Sometimes lonely, yet always complete.
It’s not everyone who understands
The need to travel down this path,
But I find,
In this solitude,
Reason for being.
Life with You is:
Vibrant.
Whether deep contrasts of color
Or rich blacks and whites.
No shades of grey.
For shadows are merely dimensions.
Life with You is:
Magical.
If fairy tales have happy endings,
Then ours is “Ever After”.
Life with You is:
The Ultimate Challenge.
As the years go by and I get to know You better,
Your personality,
I realize that our relationship has stood
In spite of obstacles,
Threats,
Persecutions.
Life with You is:
Life that makes one think of destiny.
Purpose.
The meaning of it all.
Life with You is:
Surreal.
The goodness of Your Love
Leaves me at times in awe
That I could be so blessed.
Life with You is:
A party!
Crazy!
Wicked!
Life with You is:
Delicious.
A feast for all my senses.
Each day,
Not just a bite
But a buffet of exquisite cuisine.
Life with You is:
A journey.
Not rushed; not hurried.
Just a journey enjoyed.
And life with You is ALL.
All complete.
All ill ever need.
If there is life after life,
That’s more that what I’m wishing for
If there’s Love after this,
What bliss!
Surrender to You,
To Your mind, to Your Spirit,
Has left me only wanting
Much more than Your kiss.
I love You, Jesus.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 8:59 PM 0 comments
Sunday, November 25, 2007
A Lover, Lost
Last night, I dreamt it was your face
Only, we were in another place
And in your hands, held warmly there,
Was another's grasp; another's care.
You eyes pierced mine; I gazed at you
Confused, not knowing what to do
How did I meet you in my dreams
Only to find this bizzare scene?
Tearfully, we parted ways
There was nothing left to say
Your spirit spoke it loud and clear:
"Do not try to find me here."
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 10:53 PM 0 comments
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Evening Rest
You labour long in the fields where you are needed
But do you hearken to My Voice when I call?
When the sun has set and a brilliant moonlight travels,
Do you cease from work?...Do you come home at all?
You toil all day, and when that day has settled,
Do you make peace with the night by being still?
Or do you insist on striving
To struggle hard, to work, to endlessly till?
My Love, the times and seasons do all matter
And when the night has come, I bid you-- take your rest.
I have seen your labor all this morning
And if tomorrow, you work again, do what is best:
Calm yourself now, and stay awhile
Beneath the shaded olive tree at My feet
I love the way you've pleased me with your service
But more, I need you just to be with Me.
The daylight is for reaping and for harvest
The evening is for simply being still
And by this, you will find strength for tomorrow
By doing this, you'll know what is My Will.
My Will is for you to bring to Me the burdens
Which you have gathered at the task I bid you to
And then, when your tired hands are empty,
My Child, then, just simply bring Me you.
(Inspired by "Foundations of Faith")
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 12:29 AM 3 comments
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Worth to Me
What are You worth to me, Lord?
What will I pay for You?
What am I willing to exchange?
...What must I do?
I've looked at life
Everything in my world
I've weighed up the balances
Against Your word
And I've decided it is nothing
Compared to what You've given me
I could never repay You
Because I've never made a sacrifice for Thee.
But I'll give You what I have
And everything I own
I give my life back to You
It is Yours, and Yours alone.
What are You worth to me?
What will I pay for You?
It's a small price to say "everything"
And I know what I must do
I will let You have my heart
And not just part, but the whole
You are worth my very life
In exchange for Your Love, Lord, take my soul.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 8:33 PM 0 comments
Your Beach
In quietness,
I walked your beach
In silence there,
I heard my name
As if you were whispering
the tune,
the song,
the low refrain.
In wondering where,
I sought for you
In wondering how
I traced your face
And when the waves reached up to kiss my feet,
I knew you in another place.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 8:28 PM 1 comments
In The Shadows
I seek You in the shadows
For there, I recognize Your Light
Framed by all the Darkness
Illuminating the Night
I seek You in the stillness
In the lonely desert place
For there, I find Your oasis
And there, I know Your Face.
Posted by Nyx Martinez at 8:26 PM 0 comments