Distance

My Love,
Do not hold it against me
When I tell you
I need my solitude
My Silence
My Self.
Do not call me selfish
For distancing myself from you.
I am not taking away my love.
But letting it expand
In my heart
In my self.
When I am alone in my silence,
My solitude,
I realize then
That I need you.
Yet when I am with you,
Sometimes, I don't see that.
How much I need you.
In those times,
I need to step away
Away from you
Away from the world
Away from everything.
So that I may return
A better lover
A better friend
A better me
And better for you.
So do not hold it against me
For staying in this quiet moment
This lonely place
For when I do,
I long to return
To you in full
And when I do,
You'll know my love.
You'll know,
My Love.

Drawn

I am drawn to the heat of Your Love

Like an artist draws his grand piece

I am drawn to the warmth of your light

Like the earth, when it draws on the seas.

I am drawn to the kiss of your lips

Like a moth is drawn to a flame

I am drawn to the heat of your passion

Like a warrior is drawn to the fray.

I am drawn to the needs of your ache

Like a mother is drawn to her young

I am drawn; am consumed by your beauty

Like the moon is ever drawn to the Sun.

But You Do

You don’t have to love me, but You do

You don’t have to want me, yet You do.

You don’t have to make my life this

Work of art that it’s become, but You do.

…and I thank You.

Thank You for loving me, just the way I am

I’ve traveled far, yet always come back home

Because I can

Because You’ve given me this place inside your heart

With You, it’s been perfect from the start

…and I thank You.

Silence Speaks

Silence speaks to me in something

Like a shattered drop of dew

Splashing wetness and revealing

That there is more to dream; to do

Silence speaks to me like thunder

Booming through its absent voice

Still for awhile; yet I can hear it

Asking me to make a choice.

Moments

If I look back on the past, there is much hurt there

If I look toward the future; I am blind

And so, I live only in this moment

For it is here that I always find

He gives enough love for my quivering heart

He gives enough grace for my feeble knees

He knows all my weaknesses; better, my strengths

He knows all the moments I need.

Small Petition

Lord, another day has risen

Let the sun climb high into the sky

Lord, another day has given

Reason to my life, to my heartcry.

Let me never wander from the light

Thrust me into where you’ll have me be

Another day for serving and for living

Another day for learning to love Thee.

Alone...and Free!

When there is no one left to call,

The telephone, it hardly rings

The silence is unusual,

For I have seared attachment strings

I lie awake, in silence, thinking

Of what it’s like to be alone

Too many years, I have spent like this

In solitude, and far from home.

Direction comes from inner feelings

Of warmth that no human form can give

In the quietness, truth speaks softly

Of what it really means to live.

Independent—free, at last!

Free to be what I’m made for

Free to let go of my past

And free to love once more.

Take Me Now

Take me now, as I am nothing

Lead me where You need me be

In humility, I kneel, surrendered

To Your highest Will for me.

Grant of me that I may offer

This gift to You; my last small tears

All I have left, I surrender

Life has stripped my finest years

And yet, this cup, not passed from me

I drink, refilled with Hope Divine

Surrender to You is true freedom

And all You have, You have made mine.

So take me now; this cup is empty

Take me, ever forward, still

This prayer is to be surrendered

Break me; make me what You will.

(8 Dec. 2007)

Lover's Whisper

From the silence of my breaking heart,

From pieces torn and scattered far,

I try to find some sense, some beauty

Inside, I wonder where You are.

If You were here, I’d not be broken

If You were here, I’d not be pained

If I could hear the words You’ve spoken,

Perhaps my heart would not be maimed.

And then, I feel Your arms around me

Before Your lips kiss my tear-stained cheek

“Your beauty comes from being broken,”

Are the strange words I hear You speak.

“Had you been whole, and not so shattered,

Had you been strong, and not like this,

Had you been steady, not so scattered,

You would not know my deepest kiss.”

My Happy Place

Night by night

Where shadows dim

Beneath the Light

Try to sink in,

You lead me where

The twilight ends

And a sunrise beams

When dawn descends.

My darkest hour

Never too bleak

It’s there I find

The Voice I seek

It’s where I know

You face to face

Where Night becomes

My Happy Place.

For a Foolish Lover

Last night, I dreamed it was your face

Only, we were in another place

And in your hand, held warmly there

Was another’s grasp; another’s care.

You spoke to me; I looked at you

As usual, not knowing what to do

How did I meet you in my dreams

Only to find this bizarre scene?

You kissed her, then you walked away

There was nothing left to say

Your spirit spoke it loud and clear:

“Do not try to find me here.”

To My Greatest Love:

Even though I have been silent

These past few days,

Know that I have thought of us.

Know that I have thought of You

--Your truth,

Your Faithfulness,

Your deep care for me.

You never forget,

And that’s what I love so much about You.

You are perfect

And when I surrender to You,

Laying my heart at your feet,

I know

That that’s exactly where I always want to be.

Life, With You

Life with You is:

Unpredictable, yet constant.

Where the excitement leads, I never really know.

Life with you is:

Sometimes lonely, yet always complete.

It’s not everyone who understands

The need to travel down this path,

But I find,

In this solitude,

Reason for being.

Life with You is:

Vibrant.

Whether deep contrasts of color

Or rich blacks and whites.

No shades of grey.

For shadows are merely dimensions.

Life with You is:

Magical.

If fairy tales have happy endings,

Then ours is “Ever After”.

Life with You is:

The Ultimate Challenge.

As the years go by and I get to know You better,

Your personality,

I realize that our relationship has stood

In spite of obstacles,

Threats,

Persecutions.

Life with You is:

Life that makes one think of destiny.

Purpose.

The meaning of it all.

Life with You is:

Surreal.

The goodness of Your Love

Leaves me at times in awe

That I could be so blessed.

Life with You is:

A party!

Crazy!

Wicked!

Life with You is:

Delicious.

A feast for all my senses.

Each day,

Not just a bite

But a buffet of exquisite cuisine.

Life with You is:

A journey.

Not rushed; not hurried.

Just a journey enjoyed.

And life with You is ALL.

All complete.

All ill ever need.

If there is life after life,

That’s more that what I’m wishing for

If there’s Love after this,

What bliss!

Surrender to You,

To Your mind, to Your Spirit,

Has left me only wanting

Much more than Your kiss.

I love You, Jesus.

A Lover, Lost

Last night, I dreamt it was your face
Only, we were in another place
And in your hands, held warmly there,
Was another's grasp; another's care.

You eyes pierced mine; I gazed at you
Confused, not knowing what to do
How did I meet you in my dreams
Only to find this bizzare scene?

Tearfully, we parted ways
There was nothing left to say
Your spirit spoke it loud and clear:
"Do not try to find me here."

Evening Rest

You labour long in the fields where you are needed
But do you hearken to My Voice when I call?
When the sun has set and a brilliant moonlight travels,
Do you cease from work?...Do you come home at all?

You toil all day, and when that day has settled,
Do you make peace with the night by being still?
Or do you insist on striving
To struggle hard, to work, to endlessly till?

My Love, the times and seasons do all matter
And when the night has come, I bid you-- take your rest.
I have seen your labor all this morning
And if tomorrow, you work again, do what is best:

Calm yourself now, and stay awhile
Beneath the shaded olive tree at My feet
I love the way you've pleased me with your service
But more, I need you just to be with Me.

The daylight is for reaping and for harvest
The evening is for simply being still
And by this, you will find strength for tomorrow
By doing this, you'll know what is My Will.

My Will is for you to bring to Me the burdens
Which you have gathered at the task I bid you to
And then, when your tired hands are empty,
My Child, then, just simply bring Me you.


(Inspired by "Foundations of Faith")

Worth to Me

What are You worth to me, Lord?
What will I pay for You?
What am I willing to exchange?
...What must I do?

I've looked at life
Everything in my world
I've weighed up the balances
Against Your word

And I've decided it is nothing
Compared to what You've given me
I could never repay You
Because I've never made a sacrifice for Thee.

But I'll give You what I have
And everything I own
I give my life back to You
It is Yours, and Yours alone.

What are You worth to me?
What will I pay for You?
It's a small price to say "everything"
And I know what I must do

I will let You have my heart
And not just part, but the whole
You are worth my very life
In exchange for Your Love, Lord, take my soul.

Your Beach

In quietness,
I walked your beach
In silence there,
I heard my name
As if you were whispering
the tune,
the song,
the low refrain.

In wondering where,
I sought for you
In wondering how
I traced your face
And when the waves reached up to kiss my feet,
I knew you in another place.

In The Shadows

I seek You in the shadows
For there, I recognize Your Light
Framed by all the Darkness
Illuminating the Night

I seek You in the stillness
In the lonely desert place
For there, I find Your oasis
And there, I know Your Face.

The Secret of Moses

With the setting of the mountain sun
As it dipped low in the sky,
With the stretching of the clouds that hung
O'er the peaks of Mt. Sinai,
I saw Jehovah in the mist
And then, He spoke His Word
"Be still and know that I am God,"
Was the whisper that I heard.

"Be silent now, and hear Me speak,"
He continued to compose
The notes that made a music piece
Turned the hues to shades of rose
"My desperate Children seek a sign,
freedom from Egypt land
So listen closely as I speak
Of what is in thine hand."

And as I lingered many nights
upon the mountain peak,
I loved to hear the still, small voice
whenever it would speak.
I uttered hardly a single word
I did not need to say
A single thing; a trifle thought
For He taught me how to pray.

--In silence, still, in quietness
in the beauty of the Lord...
There, I found my mountaintop
and He loved me with His Word.

"BUT OF YOUR LOVE"

I blinked back tears of sheer frustration
The same old story had been told
I'd given another chance to feeling
Wanting to come in from the cold

And when humanness had bade me close
Another chapter of the book,
It seemed the burden crushed down on me
This was a pain I'd overlooked.

Another chance for feeling, I'd dreaded,
I'd hoped my past would up and fly
But it was worse than I'd remembered aching,
And I struggled hard to say goodbye.

I prayed to Heaven, "Do not mock me,
For I have not Faith that You speak of."
"Tis but a test, my Child," said He,
"Not of your strength...but of your Love."

"Of true Love, that is based on giving,
Of true Love that trusts in Me
Of true Love that forgives men's trespasses
Of true Love, that will set you free."

Not of my strength, but of my Love...
Was any left this February day?
One verse lingered in my memory:
"The Lord giveth,
The Lord taketh away."

...And all He does in Love--this mystery--
Our human minds do not fathom still
Yet, I will trust His Grace; His Goodness
Through tear-stained eyes that seek His Will.

"Seek and you will find"...the promise
Of prayers answered from Realms above...

Lord, I have not the strength to journey
But by Your Grace alone, I have the Love.